god save the english language

date: 05.06.2009

from: DB Reid, esq.

to: DM

re: the conversion of the d.b. reid's vocab to that of a 17 year-old female is nearly complete

"I totes just ralphed."

well that explains why she's always carrying rope

date:05.10.2009

from: CHu

to: DM

re: so how'd the rest of your night go?

"Wrangled a drunk birthday girl. Wrangled a large southerner. Ate pizza. Passed out. The usual."

doing a two-beer funnel at a party thrown by the gays

date: 05.16.2009

from: Duff

to: DM

re: everyone was totally impressed when i added the second beer

"It was a feat that surpassed gay standards"

that's how you do it... that's how you give a talk about lawyer-ing

date: 05.26.2009

from: JD

to: DM

re: giving a talk about being a lawyer to 12th graders in the bronx

"Just crushed my guest appearance in Kevyn's class. Complete domination."

kickball night strikes again

date: 05.29.2009

from: Sas

to: DM

re: it's 8:31 in the god damn morning... i should soooo not be awake right now

"I think I left my self-respect on the floor at coppersmith's. I don't suppose you picked it up for me when you left..."

let's do this

date: 05.27.2009

from: SCo

to: DM

re: reunion is this weekend... be ready

"I just packed the American Honey.* Game on."

*American Honey is a type of bourbon made by wild turkey. GMG hates it for being too sweet, but the ladies love it.

inconvenient truths, drunkenly shared

date: 05.29.2009

from: ED

to: DM

re: the fact that the Tappan Zee bridge has outlived it's initial expected life-span

"I want you to know that every time I cross the Tappan Zee bridge I have a panic attack and it's all your fault."

what modern cell phone technology was created for

date: 03.14.2009
from: ET
to: DM (and others)
re: the things needed to make a marriage work


@9:33pm

“All – I want kfc and need your help. Please text my wife pleading for me to have kfc."

(note: It worked. KFC was purchased within 15 minutes.)

awesome on many levels

date: 04.03.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: the Fordham Barrister’s Ball celebrations


"R u gonna pussy out on the afterparty like christina (sic) reid, or r u gonna have some balls?”

a succinct walk-through of my night

date: 04.04.2009
from: SM
to: DM
re: it is being broughten tonight

(note: all times CT)


@10:39pm

"I now own a shot glass necklace."


@11:29pm

"I just called 'amateur hour' on some guy that tried to set up Beirut with only six cups."


@2:31am

"I won flip cup."


@3:07am

"I am awseum (sic) at flip cup."

what music says about you

date: 04.11.2009

re: tastes

(1 of 3 – the query)

from: CR

to: DM and AM

“Am I gay for liking the Scissor Sisters?”

(2 of 3 – the response)

from: DM

to: CR

“Naaaa. The Scissor Sisters are pretty legit. I wouldn’t worry about it.

(3 of 3 – the alternate view)

from: AM

to: CR

“Liking Scissor Sisters is totally gay. Enjoy the parade.”

didn't see that answer coming

date: 05.02.2009

from: CM

to: DM

re: where you guys at?

"At burlesque show. Adam attacked by ninja. He survived."

bold claims

date: 05.03.2009

from: BH/DM

to: DM/BH

re: exciting late night challenges

@ 1:25 am DM to BH

"I just challenged Frank to the Seafair 5K in Seattle. We should buy tix."

@ 1:27 AM BH to DM

"Perfect. Also, I look forward to beating you at drunken Dr Mario in the near future."

@1:30 am DM to BH

"That's funny. I'm interested to see you beat me up Mount Rainier with Frank strapped to your back."

@ 1:33 am BH to DM

"I'll do it, and I'll drink two liters of knob creek along the way.

two ways of looking at things

POINT:

date: 03. 29.2009
from: BH
to: DM
re: let's push this baby to the limit

"Also, journey's greatest hits live is the most awesome drunk album of all time. Regardless of what pam or blake griffin say."

COUNTERPOINT:

date: 01.04.2009
from: CR
to: DM
re: i think i've hit the limit

"Oh god make the Journey stop."

somehow, that's not a cross street i am familiar with

date: 03.28.2009
from: SAS
to: DM
re: where are you?

"I'm at 72nd and drinking."

The harsh light of day reveals many things...

date: 03.29.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: ewwww

"Just opened wallet for first time today. Things are sticky and in wrong places."

apropos of nothing

date: 02.14.2009
from: MY
to: DM
re: god only knows

"Toss my salad"

baby steps

date: 02.15.2009
from: GMG
to: DM
re: matty y keeps trying to drink all my high-end liquor

"We only had half the ri^1 this time. It's an improvement."

trying to get places too quickly leads to heart ache and bad grammer

date: 03.06.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: i might have, sort of gotten confused leaving drunken nacho fridays

"Just ran a blobk (sic) in the whong damned direction . @ dann u!"

thank you Katie 80, for doing us all a favor

date: 03.07.2009
from: KM
to: DM
re: turning chris reid into an unrepentant booze hound

"It really is the gift that keeps on giving, isn't it?"

whatever, it can't live up to the power of the shamwow

date: 03.08.2009
from: BDi
to: DM
re: being out drinking on thursdays is totally lame

"Aw. I'm at home, under my snuggie! u so wish u had one."

the troops have run into unexpected resistance

date: 03.11.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: wednesday's drinking plans have been shocked and awed

"Wow -- dollar beer night is a shitshow. we r retreating to the alternate watering hole."

that, kids, is what we call "statuatory"

date: 03.14.2009
from: AL
to: DM
re: not even the 'half plus seven' rule will save me on this one

"Accidentally hit on a girl who's 15. Whoops."

turns out you need a certification for that

date: 02.22.2009
from: CHu
to: DM
re: saturday day drinking + road trip = win

"Princeton rulz. Lets go to nj every weekend. Just looked at the photos. I think shannon and i are certifiable lesbians now."

...and that's why we are going to South Africa in 2010

date: 03.04.2009
from: GMG
to: DM
re: i'm pretty sure Ireland would be a more fun place to visit

"Agreed, but FIFA is more powerful than the UN, so we must follow their mandates!"