i hope he took most of that straight to the computing power graveyard

date: 12.28.2008
from: BH
to: DM
re: that's the last time i agree to help my mom move

"Today I moved one new laptop, three pentium 2 era computers, the oldest thinkpad I have ever seen, two printers, a fax machine, and a standalone word processor"

the greatest informercial item ever, totes for real

date: 01.25.2009
from: ET
to: DM
re: guess what's on MY mind right now

@ 1:27am

"shaaaaaaaaaammmmmm"

@ 1:28am

"wwwooooooooooowwwwwwwWWWWWW!!!!!!"

the way families actually spend the holidays

date: 12.26.2008
from: JA
to: DM
re: i mean, i miss the city and all, but this is kind of awesome

"Pizza Putt. Pizza, laser tag, and mini golf, all in one. How suburbucolic."

when airport-bound cab rides turn ugly

date: 12.05.2008
from: CHu
to: DM
re: last night's going away party just came flooding back

@ 11:48am

"Omg dougie, i am having bad memories of all those shots. And by memories i mean i am about to throw up out the cab window"

@ 11:56am

"God damn i think i am wah wah wasted"

breakfast of champions

date: 01.03.2009
from: LMc
to: DM
re: i bet it's not as awesome as mine...

"I started this morning with a G & T, and THEN Brian and I went to Stop'n'Shop to buy bacon! How's your day going?"

rumor is, it tastes like freedom

date: 01.26.2009
from: KM
to: DM
re: three great tastes that taste great when boozing

"Call the Grillmaster -- I am drinking bacon-infused bourbon with real maple syrup"

full-service, indeed

date: 01.24.2009
from: LP
to: DM
re: today's spa treatment got a little feisty

"Just got a massage -- fairly certain the chick intentionally felt me up. Would have been less weirded out had she not commented on how nice my breasts are! Nuts!"

new frontiers in alcoholic beverage sales and distribution

date: 01.10.2009
from: Sister
to: DM
re: we did a little shopping

"Magic Hat growler six pack -- best six pack ever!"

why you try not to wander away from the bar late at night

date: 01.11.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: i left the bar ten minutes ago to find food...

@3:05 am

"i feelwincredibly (sic) stupid, but what's the name of the bar we're in?"

sunday drinking nicely warms the heart

date: 01.04.2009
from: EB
to: DM
re: i've had a few beers and am ready for the game

"Lather, rinse, repeat -- the shampoo effect is in... effect"

potent potables and oral traditions

date: 01.11.2009
from: Tadhog
to: DM
re: last night's contribution to both our society and to our friend group

"I'm glad you are on the job of getting people drunk. It's important in preserving our way of life!"

what happened to the writ of habeus corpus?

date: 01.11.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: criminal accessory charges

"Dear Hangover, You are DM's fault. Go torture him and leave me in peace. xoxo, Amanda"

how many years did he spend at awesome medical school?

date: 01.11.2009
from: PPF
to: DM
re: medical doctors and their qualifications

"I dispute Matt's title as 'Dr. Awesome.' He can't even answer the question of why we get drunk quicker on an empty stomach!"

this might actually define the line between "sports" and "games"

date: 01.11.2009
from: SAS
to: DM
re: golf could stand to learn a thing or two

"Reason #476 why bowling is awesome: it is a sport that does not only encourage but practically requires that you drink before, during and after play."