this fan is literally drunk

date: 04.11.2009
from: D.B. Reid, esq.
to: DM
re: this fan used to oscillate, it don't oscillate no more


"oscillated"

you can't hope to stop DM's vocab, you can only hope to contain it

date: 06.22.2009
from: SG
to: DM
re: words invading my lexicon

"I just used 'legit' twice in one conversation with my ceo. I blame you for this."

the least helpful outfit description ever

date: 06.26.2009
from: JMC
to: DM
re: can you help me figure out who i was dancing with last night?

"She was wearing some sort of flowing dress/skirt that may have been yellow. she maybe had a long sleeve top on. maybe. i don't know, man, help me out here."

tell us how you really feel about girls night out

date: 06.26.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: it's been downhill since i took those shots at blind pig

@9:01pm

"3 questions: (1) why's mexican food so bad, (2) why r chicks so boring, and (3) how'd i get so drunk?"

@ 10:09pm

"Chicks... the usual... and the food's not good... and i'm bored... u?"

@ 10:11pm

"Aaaand now they've started talking about aerobics classes. uggghhh."

how to make soccer awesomer

date: 06.28.2009
from: GMG
to: DM
re: penalty kicks are a bullshit way to end important games

"The should do it like hockey -- keeping playing overtimes until someone scores or all the players die of dehydration"

note: i'm pretty sure he's not kidding... not that i disagree...

the right way to warm up for U.S. vs Brazil soccer

date: 06.28.2009
from: GMG
to: DM
re: why freedom is worth fighting for

@11:49am

"I just bourboned up my coffee. God bless america. And meat."

the type of text sure to motivate

date: 04.25.2009
from: CHu
to: DM
re: one way to get the evening started off right

"There are five drunk girls in my apartment"

despite evidence to contrary, it still seems like a good thing to give him booze

date: 04.08.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: DB Reid is drunkenly ranting... again

@2:16am

"Reid just claimed that those who subscribe to the 'light the marshmellow on fire' school are douche-nozzles."

@2:25am

"Oh, and after that he launched into the prologue from Henry V."

good to know the cab driver has a variety of interests

date: 05.07.2007
from: AM
to: DM
re: things that make you question if you are going to actually arrive at your destination

@ 12:22 am

"My cabbie is talking about doing acid in thompkins square park"


@ 12:29am

"OMG the cabbie just gave me his acting coach's brochure"