date: 11.07.2009
from: BH
to: DM
re: you wanna go out and get a few beers tonight in brooklyn?
"D! Hey, i'm out in southhold helping both parents with manual labor... winterizing the house for mom and helping dad with his move. Brutal."
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
western kansas can occasionally kinda sorta be fun
date: 12.24.2009
from: CS
to: DM
re: life back home for christmas isn't all bad... i guess
@104pm
"I'm sitting in my friend's hot tub, in the snow, drinking irish coffees. Kansas does have a few upsides to it."
@531pm
"Let's see... I've been to the mall, the liquor store, my favorite mexican restaurant, & now I'm back at my grandma's watching football. I really can't complain. :)"
@ 600pm
"Dodge City's great when you are here for 3 days or less. I just found out the opened Boothill Casion, so that might provide an extra night of entertainment. The casino is built right off of Wyatt Earp Blvd... no joke."
from: CS
to: DM
re: life back home for christmas isn't all bad... i guess
@104pm
"I'm sitting in my friend's hot tub, in the snow, drinking irish coffees. Kansas does have a few upsides to it."
@531pm
"Let's see... I've been to the mall, the liquor store, my favorite mexican restaurant, & now I'm back at my grandma's watching football. I really can't complain. :)"
@ 600pm
"Dodge City's great when you are here for 3 days or less. I just found out the opened Boothill Casion, so that might provide an extra night of entertainment. The casino is built right off of Wyatt Earp Blvd... no joke."
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
the aftermath of your birthday, part two
date: 07.16.2009
from: CHu
to: DM
re: last night got out of hand
@ 3:16pm
"Well, I took shots. Like a lot. Then I blacked out and talked to your roommate about the lakers for an hour. Maybe two. I'm so embarassing"
@ 3:47pm
"And then I called out sick today."
from: CHu
to: DM
re: last night got out of hand
@ 3:16pm
"Well, I took shots. Like a lot. Then I blacked out and talked to your roommate about the lakers for an hour. Maybe two. I'm so embarassing"
@ 3:47pm
"And then I called out sick today."
Sunday, December 27, 2009
opinon, difference there of
date: 11.15.2009
from: AM, Esq.
to: DM
re: if i've told you once, i've told you a thousand times
“When will u learn that sports will never replace alcohol?”
from: AM, Esq.
to: DM
re: if i've told you once, i've told you a thousand times
“When will u learn that sports will never replace alcohol?”
family connections
date: 11.15.2009
from: NM
to: DM
re: thinking of you, brother
“Hey oh! Listen what i say oh… Practicing my air guitar in the bar tonight!”
from: NM
to: DM
re: thinking of you, brother
“Hey oh! Listen what i say oh… Practicing my air guitar in the bar tonight!”
Saturday, December 26, 2009
some nights, even nyc can forget about the yankees
date: 11.20.2009
from: SM
to: DM
re: hey look, mets fans aren't totally alone after all!
"The Empire State Building is a mets fan!"
from: SM
to: DM
re: hey look, mets fans aren't totally alone after all!
"The Empire State Building is a mets fan!"
Friday, December 25, 2009
christmas present for the sister's fiancee
date: 12.25.2009
from: MM
to: DM
re: sabres gear FTW
"Thanks for drafting me for the team."
from: MM
to: DM
re: sabres gear FTW
"Thanks for drafting me for the team."
local rules may not apply in other juristictions
date: 10.11.2009
from: AM, Esq.
to: DM
re: the rules of beer pong
"You guys lied! No one else has heard of 'gentleman's tightening' The people i'm playing with looked at me all weird when i asked 4 it..."
from: AM, Esq.
to: DM
re: the rules of beer pong
"You guys lied! No one else has heard of 'gentleman's tightening' The people i'm playing with looked at me all weird when i asked 4 it..."
the things i go through for you
date: 09.03.2009
from: AM, Esq.
to: DM
re: the elusive jason cason
"I am dealing with a cab of DBR, Esq. and Eva fighting re: Superman just to meet Jason, so he BETTER be there!"
from: AM, Esq.
to: DM
re: the elusive jason cason
"I am dealing with a cab of DBR, Esq. and Eva fighting re: Superman just to meet Jason, so he BETTER be there!"
when vacation plans go slightly awry
date: 09.05.2009
from: LP
to: DM
re: i made it to Ocean City... how's Nantucket?
"Glad you made it! I, on the other hand, ran into my brother unexpectedly, got wasted, slept through my alarm and missed my flight. I'm now getting in at 4pm. Ooops."
from: LP
to: DM
re: i made it to Ocean City... how's Nantucket?
"Glad you made it! I, on the other hand, ran into my brother unexpectedly, got wasted, slept through my alarm and missed my flight. I'm now getting in at 4pm. Ooops."
being 30 isn't all bad
date: 06.20.2009
from: Angel
to: DM
re: age and guile will beat youth and ability every time
"Haha. i DID just beat some 19 yr olds in a PBR chugoff. cuz i'm classy."
from: Angel
to: DM
re: age and guile will beat youth and ability every time
"Haha. i DID just beat some 19 yr olds in a PBR chugoff. cuz i'm classy."
home for the holidays
date: 12.20.2009
from: Mom
to: DM
re: are you coming home soon?
"It's wine-thirty. Hurry back. love."
from: Mom
to: DM
re: are you coming home soon?
"It's wine-thirty. Hurry back. love."
the aftermath of your birthday, part one
date: 07.14.2009
from: CHu
to: DM
re: you may have peaced out at 1am, loser, but some of us are still rocking out like champs
"I'm at a bar at 3am on a fucking wednesday. I blame you, DM. Happy Birthday. Love youuuuuuuuuu"
from: CHu
to: DM
re: you may have peaced out at 1am, loser, but some of us are still rocking out like champs
"I'm at a bar at 3am on a fucking wednesday. I blame you, DM. Happy Birthday. Love youuuuuuuuuu"
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
shit like this is why i do not live in queens
date: 10.31.2009
from: CSm
to: DM
re: i had to make some last minute adjustments to the Marathon Party menu
"Long Island City is hell hole and I couldn't find muffin mix or cinnamon rolls, so I'm gonna have banana bread and bagels instead. Everything else should be set."
from: CSm
to: DM
re: i had to make some last minute adjustments to the Marathon Party menu
"Long Island City is hell hole and I couldn't find muffin mix or cinnamon rolls, so I'm gonna have banana bread and bagels instead. Everything else should be set."
Monday, December 7, 2009
a scout must always be prepared to deal with adversity
date: 11.12.09
from: AH
to: DM
re: really, it just means you get a head start on drinking on the plane
"Bad news -- flight delayed 3 hours so I'm stuck in Newark til 11pm. Good news -- Heineken Lounge"
from: AH
to: DM
re: really, it just means you get a head start on drinking on the plane
"Bad news -- flight delayed 3 hours so I'm stuck in Newark til 11pm. Good news -- Heineken Lounge"
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
when the desire for one last free drink trumps the knowledge that you have work in the morning
date: 10.12.09
from: AH
to: DM
re: i took the red-eye home last night after three nights in Vegas
“I am beyond miserable right now”
“Well be happy you’re not at work. I’m a walking zombie"
from: AH
to: DM
re: i took the red-eye home last night after three nights in Vegas
@10:57am
“I am beyond miserable right now”
@1:07pm
“Well be happy you’re not at work. I’m a walking zombie"
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
where there's drinking and debauchery, there's almost always stupid bets
date: 09.07.2009
from: GMG
to: DM
re: last night we got into the Old Raj, drank almost everything in my house, and ended up taking the “eat the ghost pepper” challenge…
“I tried to take a picture of the epic disaster that is my kitchen right now, but my hands were shaking too badly to get a clear shot.”
from: GMG
to: DM
re: last night we got into the Old Raj, drank almost everything in my house, and ended up taking the “eat the ghost pepper” challenge…
“I tried to take a picture of the epic disaster that is my kitchen right now, but my hands were shaking too badly to get a clear shot.”
Monday, November 30, 2009
everybody's a critic
date: 09.11.2009
from: SG
to: DM
re: planning awesome booze-fuelded adventures is just a cross i have to bear
“just got to atlantic city for the bachelorette party. Walking around the liquor store being a nazi with my filofax list of alcohol that is necessary to get us thru the weekend. I think the girls that don’t know me are judging.”
from: SG
to: DM
re: planning awesome booze-fuelded adventures is just a cross i have to bear
“just got to atlantic city for the bachelorette party. Walking around the liquor store being a nazi with my filofax list of alcohol that is necessary to get us thru the weekend. I think the girls that don’t know me are judging.”
Sunday, November 29, 2009
post beer-tasting event, things always get interesting
date: 10.03.2009
from: CMc
to: DM
re: it is perhaps possible that i was over-served at williamsburg freaktoberfest beer
note: these txts were sent from one side of an eight person table to another
@ 7:07pm
"My status is beyond hammered”
@ 7:21pm
“I’m lit like a fucking Christmas tree. The fact that I made it from the bathroom back to this table is a miracle”
from: CMc
to: DM
re: it is perhaps possible that i was over-served at williamsburg freaktoberfest beer
note: these txts were sent from one side of an eight person table to another
@ 7:07pm
"My status is beyond hammered”
@ 7:21pm
“I’m lit like a fucking Christmas tree. The fact that I made it from the bathroom back to this table is a miracle”
Thursday, November 26, 2009
sports will unite us all -- especially if someone is about to score
date: 11.15.09
from: GMG
to: DM
re: those marketing bastards have struck gold again
"Btw I barely like football, but the NFL network Red Zone is the greatest channel of all time."
from: GMG
to: DM
re: those marketing bastards have struck gold again
"Btw I barely like football, but the NFL network Red Zone is the greatest channel of all time."
just another friday night in nyc, with our friend alcohol
date: 11.21.09
from: AM, Esq.
to: DM
re: i swear i wasn't that drunk when last i saw you
"Raise ur hand if u woke up fully dressed about ur covers at 7 am with little to no idea how u got there"
from: AM, Esq.
to: DM
re: i swear i wasn't that drunk when last i saw you
"Raise ur hand if u woke up fully dressed about ur covers at 7 am with little to no idea how u got there"
when cooking gets turned up to 11
date: 11.22.09
from: GMG
to: DM
re: preparations for thanksgiving are underway
"Set condition 'awesome' throughout the kitchen!"
from: GMG
to: DM
re: preparations for thanksgiving are underway
"Set condition 'awesome' throughout the kitchen!"
what happens in Vegas... probably gets txted about
date: 10.10.2009
from: CS
to: DM
re: we've been in the desert less than a day and are already working off our third hangover
“Glad to know you both survived the first of many nights of Vegas debauchery! I didn’t know it was possible to get drunk 3 times in one day, but I should have known Sailor could do it.”
from: CS
to: DM
re: we've been in the desert less than a day and are already working off our third hangover
“Glad to know you both survived the first of many nights of Vegas debauchery! I didn’t know it was possible to get drunk 3 times in one day, but I should have known Sailor could do it.”
Friday, November 13, 2009
another former teetotaler sees the light
date: 10.17.09
from: AM
to: CR
re: to think, before booze i used to get to bed early and be able to spell at all hours of the night...
@1:30am
"You know whats fun! drionking" (sic)
from: AM
to: CR
re: to think, before booze i used to get to bed early and be able to spell at all hours of the night...
@1:30am
"You know whats fun! drionking" (sic)
Friday, October 16, 2009
it really did seem like a good idea when i booked it...
date: 10.12.09
from: AH
to: DM
re: the day after taking the red-eye home from Vegas
@10:57am
“I am beyond miserable right now”
@1:07pm
“Be happy you’re not at work. I’m a walking zombie.”
from: AH
to: DM
re: the day after taking the red-eye home from Vegas
@10:57am
“I am beyond miserable right now”
@1:07pm
“Be happy you’re not at work. I’m a walking zombie.”
Monday, September 21, 2009
yes, but which side won?
date: 09.07.2009
from: PPF
to: DM
re: new games to play when drunk
"Just played "good angel/bad angel" over liz's shoulders. I think it's going to be my new thing."
from: PPF
to: DM
re: new games to play when drunk
"Just played "good angel/bad angel" over liz's shoulders. I think it's going to be my new thing."
Thursday, September 17, 2009
these things will happen when you stay at the bar for 7 hours
date: 05.18.2009
from: Chu
to: DM
re: yesterday at st. mark's ale house
"Omg we ate so much bar food. I think I literally licked the nacho plate."
from: Chu
to: DM
re: yesterday at st. mark's ale house
"Omg we ate so much bar food. I think I literally licked the nacho plate."
one hell of a sales pitch
date: 09.03.2009
from: SAS
to: DM
re: you should come to blue & gold immediately
"Five dollars buys you a shot and happiness here"
from: SAS
to: DM
re: you should come to blue & gold immediately
"Five dollars buys you a shot and happiness here"
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
the definition of classy
date: 07.11.2009
from: CMe
to: DM
re: i may, just possibly, have gotten thrown out of the parker house last night
"I was passing out... I had my head in my hands. A bouncer asked me to leave. I sadi 'no,' so he carried me out."
from: CMe
to: DM
re: i may, just possibly, have gotten thrown out of the parker house last night
"I was passing out... I had my head in my hands. A bouncer asked me to leave. I sadi 'no,' so he carried me out."
Monday, September 14, 2009
returning from nantucket
date: 07.12.2009
from: LP
to: DM
re: the joys of family trips
"At the airport waiting to get my flight home. My brother and I def hazed ourselves last night. There's a 94% chance I vomit about the 20 min flight... awesome weekend."
from: LP
to: DM
re: the joys of family trips
"At the airport waiting to get my flight home. My brother and I def hazed ourselves last night. There's a 94% chance I vomit about the 20 min flight... awesome weekend."
Friday, September 11, 2009
everyone needs to be enthusiastic about something
date: 07.16.2009
from: SG
to: DM
re: preparations for tomorrow's trip
"I just packed myself 4 bottles of Gatorade and vodka & 2 bottles of mt dew and grape vodka for the bus ride to DC tomorrow morning. I get way too enthusiastic about drinking."
from: SG
to: DM
re: preparations for tomorrow's trip
"I just packed myself 4 bottles of Gatorade and vodka & 2 bottles of mt dew and grape vodka for the bus ride to DC tomorrow morning. I get way too enthusiastic about drinking."
Thursday, September 10, 2009
when purchased goods just do not meet the desired quality control standards
date: 07.18.2009
from: BH
to: DM
re: screw this, i'm making my own cornhole set
"One man. Some miller lite. Absolutely no woodworking experience. What could possibly go wrong."
from: BH
to: DM
re: screw this, i'm making my own cornhole set
"One man. Some miller lite. Absolutely no woodworking experience. What could possibly go wrong."
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
each wine bottle represents a different winery
date: 07.25.2009
from: NM
to: DM
re: wine tours, successful
"I am dominating the little bottles on the map. Winner!"
from: NM
to: DM
re: wine tours, successful
"I am dominating the little bottles on the map. Winner!"
i thought this problem ended when i moved away from home
date: 07.22.2009
from: SG
to: DM
re: doormen, limited value thereof
"Awesome. My doorman just saw me walk in with the same clothes I left in yesterday morning. I hate having a doorman. He's like a disapproving father."
from: SG
to: DM
re: doormen, limited value thereof
"Awesome. My doorman just saw me walk in with the same clothes I left in yesterday morning. I hate having a doorman. He's like a disapproving father."
Monday, September 7, 2009
it's a special gin, enjoyed both on the go and after the hunt
date: 09.07.2009
from: GMG
to: DM
re: amidst the wreckage of my kitchen this morning, i made a startling discovery
"Somebody apparently broke into the Old Raj. After the hunt, I imagine."
from: GMG
to: DM
re: amidst the wreckage of my kitchen this morning, i made a startling discovery
"Somebody apparently broke into the Old Raj. After the hunt, I imagine."
getting called out by the little sister
date: 08.28.2009
from: EB1
to: DM
re: EB2 says it was my job to get you to come to the bar for at least one beer -- where'd you go??
"The problem is those two little words, 'at least.' See, I have virtually no self control once I hit the bar... so I went home..."
from: EB1
to: DM
re: EB2 says it was my job to get you to come to the bar for at least one beer -- where'd you go??
"The problem is those two little words, 'at least.' See, I have virtually no self control once I hit the bar... so I went home..."
my head hurt until 25 minutes ago
date: 05.18.2009
from: CHu
to: DM
re: i think i figured out how to kick my monday morning hangover
"I just had two glasses of wine at lunch and I feel fucking FANTASTIC."
from: CHu
to: DM
re: i think i figured out how to kick my monday morning hangover
"I just had two glasses of wine at lunch and I feel fucking FANTASTIC."
you have a reputation to uphold, young man
date: 02.07.2009
from: CHu
to: DM
re: you just dropped the 'ignore' button on me, didn't you!
"Are you, DM, turning down drinks with ME? Bullshit."
from: CHu
to: DM
re: you just dropped the 'ignore' button on me, didn't you!
"Are you, DM, turning down drinks with ME? Bullshit."
give in to the power of the vocoder
date: 09.04.2009
from: MY/DM
to: DM/MY
re: the AFC East
MY to DM @ 6:51 pm
MY to DM @9:47 pm
"You better jump on the dolphins bandwagon before it fills up!"
DM to MY @9:50 pm
"well we know T-pain is already on board, at very least"
MY to DM @9:56pm
"He's a trend setter!"
from: MY/DM
to: DM/MY
re: the AFC East
MY to DM @ 6:51 pm
"Way to fire the OC a week before the season, Jauron. Have fun with AVP!"
MY to DM @9:47 pm
"You better jump on the dolphins bandwagon before it fills up!"
DM to MY @9:50 pm
"well we know T-pain is already on board, at very least"
MY to DM @9:56pm
"He's a trend setter!"
creative ways to point out someone is late
date: 08.28.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: hurry your ass up
"If I finish my drink before u get here that will make this 'drinking alone,' and I'll have to go to rehab...
from: AM
to: DM
re: hurry your ass up
"If I finish my drink before u get here that will make this 'drinking alone,' and I'll have to go to rehab...
i'll take commonly misused words for $400
date: 08.16.2009
from: AH
to: DM
re: appropriate usage of the word 'literally'
"We are literally stopped on the side of the interstate and Duff is pooping in the grass."
from: AH
to: DM
re: appropriate usage of the word 'literally'
"We are literally stopped on the side of the interstate and Duff is pooping in the grass."
Sunday, September 6, 2009
file under 'air travel, making it more exciting'
date: 06.17.2009
from: JMC
to: DM
re: i have, in fact, considered 'getting after it'
"Getting bombed at the L.A. Airport!"
from: JMC
to: DM
re: i have, in fact, considered 'getting after it'
"Getting bombed at the L.A. Airport!"
the brainwashing is coming along, i see
date: 01.25.2009
from: PPF
to: DM
re: the proper use of larger containers
"I just saw a home depot bucket being used for something other than 'drunk punch.' Wtf?"
from: PPF
to: DM
re: the proper use of larger containers
"I just saw a home depot bucket being used for something other than 'drunk punch.' Wtf?"
disney gets no love these days
date: 08.14.2009
from: SG
to: DM
re: my friends seem to agree it's at least somewhere in brooklyn...
"Fuck disney world. This is the most magical place on earth!"
from: SG
to: DM
re: my friends seem to agree it's at least somewhere in brooklyn...
"Fuck disney world. This is the most magical place on earth!"
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
i'm not entirely convinced by your theory about contactless payment chips
date: 08.03.2009
from: GMG
to: DM
re: eve totally bought the apple of knowledge with a visa card
"I nuked my amex earlier to destroy the mark of the beast. Tell the global credit illuminati that I'm on to them."
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
and you think you get down about YOUR job
date: 08/25/2009
from: LP
to: DM
re: my job is eating my life
@ 8:04pm
"I'm stuck at work because I'm a pathetic, pathetic pushover who exchanged my early 20s for the promise of a successful career. Damn that ambition!!"
@ 8:05pm
"Funemployment is sooooo much cooler."
@ 8:43pm
"I just nearly broke my finger packing up my office so I'm throwing in the towel -- work, you win today."
from: LP
to: DM
re: my job is eating my life
@ 7:40pm
"I think I'm a corporate POW with a broken spirit"
@ 8:04pm
"I'm stuck at work because I'm a pathetic, pathetic pushover who exchanged my early 20s for the promise of a successful career. Damn that ambition!!"
@ 8:05pm
"Funemployment is sooooo much cooler."
@ 8:43pm
"I just nearly broke my finger packing up my office so I'm throwing in the towel -- work, you win today."
confusing sports metaphores about contraception and the stopping thereof
date: 08.23.2009
from: ET
to: DM
re: word on the street is that you and the missus have pulled the goalie (!?!?)
@ 3:44pm
"More like putting in a prevent defense against an unproven QB"
@ 5:14pm
"The wife corrected me. We're just putting in our third stringers."
note: i seriously have no idea what's going on here. are they trying to get pregnant or not? was she just sick of birth control? did they switch up regimes so she can get 'kinda pregnant'? i'm just baffled...
from: ET
to: DM
re: word on the street is that you and the missus have pulled the goalie (!?!?)
@ 3:44pm
"More like putting in a prevent defense against an unproven QB"
@ 5:14pm
"The wife corrected me. We're just putting in our third stringers."
note: i seriously have no idea what's going on here. are they trying to get pregnant or not? was she just sick of birth control? did they switch up regimes so she can get 'kinda pregnant'? i'm just baffled...
Saturday, August 1, 2009
i'll take "great first dates" for $400
date: 06.13.09
from: Chu
to: DM
re: i love drinking
"I am so drunk I just vomd in the bathroom... I hope my date doesn't know"
from: Chu
to: DM
re: i love drinking
"I am so drunk I just vomd in the bathroom... I hope my date doesn't know"
jersey shore + beer + bike = great plan???
date: 06.06.2009
from: CM/DM
to: DM/CM
re: summer weekends are awesome
CM @ 4:11pm
"Omg bike bar crawl ooc (sic)... im at the 7th bar out of 14... ots gonna be disasterous."
DM @ 5:30pm
"Hahaha. Awesome. This can't end well."
DM @ 11:43pm
"So... anyone crash on your drunken bike adventure?"
CM @ 12:53pm (next day)
"i crashed"
DM @ 1:07
"Oh no! How bad?"
CM @ 1:36pm
"My chin is pretty bruised... some douchebag stopped short in front of me."
CM @ 1:47pm
"I'm a disgrace... it was prob one of the best days ever tho."
from: CM/DM
to: DM/CM
re: summer weekends are awesome
CM @ 4:11pm
"Omg bike bar crawl ooc (sic)... im at the 7th bar out of 14... ots gonna be disasterous."
DM @ 5:30pm
"Hahaha. Awesome. This can't end well."
DM @ 11:43pm
"So... anyone crash on your drunken bike adventure?"
CM @ 12:53pm (next day)
"i crashed"
DM @ 1:07
"Oh no! How bad?"
CM @ 1:36pm
"My chin is pretty bruised... some douchebag stopped short in front of me."
CM @ 1:47pm
"I'm a disgrace... it was prob one of the best days ever tho."
an aggressive start to the evening
date: 07.31.2009
from: SG
to: DM
re: how's your friday going?
"It's been a rough night already. Bleeding profusely from the leg as a result of dodgebeer and may or may not have a broken tailbone. Also already lost my underwear. Long story."
from: SG
to: DM
re: how's your friday going?
"It's been a rough night already. Bleeding profusely from the leg as a result of dodgebeer and may or may not have a broken tailbone. Also already lost my underwear. Long story."
Sunday, July 12, 2009
one can only assume scotch made a appearance at some point
date: 06.18.2009
from: DC
to: DM
re: file under "plans, questionable"
@ 10:30pm
"I just had a very rough workout, no dinner, and brought 200 dollars with me to a top shelf open bar night for which I shouldn't need a penny. No way this could turn out badly, right? Garson, another martini please!"
@ 1:38pm the following day
"I got to work at 11 today..."
from: DC
to: DM
re: file under "plans, questionable"
@ 10:30pm
"I just had a very rough workout, no dinner, and brought 200 dollars with me to a top shelf open bar night for which I shouldn't need a penny. No way this could turn out badly, right? Garson, another martini please!"
@ 1:38pm the following day
"I got to work at 11 today..."
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
was mickey mouse there too?
date: 06.20.2009
from: LP
to: DM
re: beer will trump the magical kingdom every time
"The Brooklyn Brewery has beat out Disney World as the happiest place on earth :)"
from: LP
to: DM
re: beer will trump the magical kingdom every time
"The Brooklyn Brewery has beat out Disney World as the happiest place on earth :)"
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
this fan is literally drunk
date: 04.11.2009
from: D.B. Reid, esq.
to: DM
re: this fan used to oscillate, it don't oscillate no more
"oscillated"
from: D.B. Reid, esq.
to: DM
re: this fan used to oscillate, it don't oscillate no more
"oscillated"
Monday, June 29, 2009
you can't hope to stop DM's vocab, you can only hope to contain it
date: 06.22.2009
from: SG
to: DM
re: words invading my lexicon
"I just used 'legit' twice in one conversation with my ceo. I blame you for this."
from: SG
to: DM
re: words invading my lexicon
"I just used 'legit' twice in one conversation with my ceo. I blame you for this."
the least helpful outfit description ever
date: 06.26.2009
from: JMC
to: DM
re: can you help me figure out who i was dancing with last night?
"She was wearing some sort of flowing dress/skirt that may have been yellow. she maybe had a long sleeve top on. maybe. i don't know, man, help me out here."
from: JMC
to: DM
re: can you help me figure out who i was dancing with last night?
"She was wearing some sort of flowing dress/skirt that may have been yellow. she maybe had a long sleeve top on. maybe. i don't know, man, help me out here."
tell us how you really feel about girls night out
date: 06.26.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: it's been downhill since i took those shots at blind pig
@9:01pm
"3 questions: (1) why's mexican food so bad, (2) why r chicks so boring, and (3) how'd i get so drunk?"
@ 10:09pm
"Chicks... the usual... and the food's not good... and i'm bored... u?"
@ 10:11pm
"Aaaand now they've started talking about aerobics classes. uggghhh."
from: AM
to: DM
re: it's been downhill since i took those shots at blind pig
@9:01pm
"3 questions: (1) why's mexican food so bad, (2) why r chicks so boring, and (3) how'd i get so drunk?"
@ 10:09pm
"Chicks... the usual... and the food's not good... and i'm bored... u?"
@ 10:11pm
"Aaaand now they've started talking about aerobics classes. uggghhh."
how to make soccer awesomer
date: 06.28.2009
from: GMG
to: DM
re: penalty kicks are a bullshit way to end important games
"The should do it like hockey -- keeping playing overtimes until someone scores or all the players die of dehydration"
note: i'm pretty sure he's not kidding... not that i disagree...
from: GMG
to: DM
re: penalty kicks are a bullshit way to end important games
"The should do it like hockey -- keeping playing overtimes until someone scores or all the players die of dehydration"
note: i'm pretty sure he's not kidding... not that i disagree...
the right way to warm up for U.S. vs Brazil soccer
date: 06.28.2009
from: GMG
to: DM
re: why freedom is worth fighting for
@11:49am
"I just bourboned up my coffee. God bless america. And meat."
from: GMG
to: DM
re: why freedom is worth fighting for
@11:49am
"I just bourboned up my coffee. God bless america. And meat."
Saturday, June 27, 2009
the type of text sure to motivate
date: 04.25.2009
from: CHu
to: DM
re: one way to get the evening started off right
"There are five drunk girls in my apartment"
from: CHu
to: DM
re: one way to get the evening started off right
"There are five drunk girls in my apartment"
despite evidence to contrary, it still seems like a good thing to give him booze
date: 04.08.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: DB Reid is drunkenly ranting... again
@2:16am
"Reid just claimed that those who subscribe to the 'light the marshmellow on fire' school are douche-nozzles."
@2:25am
"Oh, and after that he launched into the prologue from Henry V."
from: AM
to: DM
re: DB Reid is drunkenly ranting... again
@2:16am
"Reid just claimed that those who subscribe to the 'light the marshmellow on fire' school are douche-nozzles."
@2:25am
"Oh, and after that he launched into the prologue from Henry V."
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
good to know the cab driver has a variety of interests
date: 05.07.2007
from: AM
to: DM
re: things that make you question if you are going to actually arrive at your destination
@ 12:22 am
"My cabbie is talking about doing acid in thompkins square park"
@ 12:29am
"OMG the cabbie just gave me his acting coach's brochure"
from: AM
to: DM
re: things that make you question if you are going to actually arrive at your destination
@ 12:22 am
"My cabbie is talking about doing acid in thompkins square park"
@ 12:29am
"OMG the cabbie just gave me his acting coach's brochure"
Saturday, May 30, 2009
god save the english language
date: 05.06.2009
from: DB Reid, esq.
to: DM
re: the conversion of the d.b. reid's vocab to that of a 17 year-old female is nearly complete
"I totes just ralphed."
well that explains why she's always carrying rope
date:05.10.2009
from: CHu
to: DM
re: so how'd the rest of your night go?
"Wrangled a drunk birthday girl. Wrangled a large southerner. Ate pizza. Passed out. The usual."
doing a two-beer funnel at a party thrown by the gays
date: 05.16.2009
from: Duff
to: DM
re: everyone was totally impressed when i added the second beer
"It was a feat that surpassed gay standards"
that's how you do it... that's how you give a talk about lawyer-ing
date: 05.26.2009
from: JD
to: DM
re: giving a talk about being a lawyer to 12th graders in the bronx
"Just crushed my guest appearance in Kevyn's class. Complete domination."
kickball night strikes again
date: 05.29.2009
from: Sas
to: DM
re: it's 8:31 in the god damn morning... i should soooo not be awake right now
"I think I left my self-respect on the floor at coppersmith's. I don't suppose you picked it up for me when you left..."
let's do this
date: 05.27.2009
from: SCo
to: DM
re: reunion is this weekend... be ready
"I just packed the American Honey.* Game on."
*American Honey is a type of bourbon made by wild turkey. GMG hates it for being too sweet, but the ladies love it.
inconvenient truths, drunkenly shared
date: 05.29.2009
from: ED
to: DM
re: the fact that the Tappan Zee bridge has outlived it's initial expected life-span
"I want you to know that every time I cross the Tappan Zee bridge I have a panic attack and it's all your fault."
Friday, May 15, 2009
what modern cell phone technology was created for
date: 03.14.2009
from: ET
to: DM (and others)
re: the things needed to make a marriage work
@9:33pm
“All – I want kfc and need your help. Please text my wife pleading for me to have kfc."
(note: It worked. KFC was purchased within 15 minutes.)
from: ET
to: DM (and others)
re: the things needed to make a marriage work
@9:33pm
“All – I want kfc and need your help. Please text my wife pleading for me to have kfc."
(note: It worked. KFC was purchased within 15 minutes.)
awesome on many levels
date: 04.03.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: the Fordham Barrister’s Ball celebrations
"R u gonna pussy out on the afterparty like christina (sic) reid, or r u gonna have some balls?”
from: AM
to: DM
re: the Fordham Barrister’s Ball celebrations
"R u gonna pussy out on the afterparty like christina (sic) reid, or r u gonna have some balls?”
a succinct walk-through of my night
date: 04.04.2009
from: SM
to: DM
re: it is being broughten tonight
(note: all times CT)
@10:39pm
"I now own a shot glass necklace."
@11:29pm
"I just called 'amateur hour' on some guy that tried to set up Beirut with only six cups."
@2:31am
"I won flip cup."
@3:07am
"I am awseum (sic) at flip cup."
from: SM
to: DM
re: it is being broughten tonight
(note: all times CT)
@10:39pm
"I now own a shot glass necklace."
@11:29pm
"I just called 'amateur hour' on some guy that tried to set up Beirut with only six cups."
@2:31am
"I won flip cup."
@3:07am
"I am awseum (sic) at flip cup."
what music says about you
date: 04.11.2009
re: tastes
(1 of 3 – the query)
from: CR
to: DM and AM
“Am I gay for liking the Scissor Sisters?”
(2 of 3 – the response)
from: DM
to: CR
“Naaaa. The Scissor Sisters are pretty legit. I wouldn’t worry about it.
(3 of 3 – the alternate view)
from: AM
to: CR
“Liking Scissor Sisters is totally gay. Enjoy the parade.”
Sunday, May 3, 2009
didn't see that answer coming
date: 05.02.2009
from: CM
to: DM
re: where you guys at?
"At burlesque show. Adam attacked by ninja. He survived."
bold claims
date: 05.03.2009
from: BH/DM
to: DM/BH
re: exciting late night challenges
@ 1:25 am DM to BH
"I just challenged Frank to the Seafair 5K in Seattle. We should buy tix."
@ 1:27 AM BH to DM
"Perfect. Also, I look forward to beating you at drunken Dr Mario in the near future."
@1:30 am DM to BH
"That's funny. I'm interested to see you beat me up Mount Rainier with Frank strapped to your back."
@ 1:33 am BH to DM
"I'll do it, and I'll drink two liters of knob creek along the way.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
two ways of looking at things
POINT:
date: 03. 29.2009
from: BH
to: DM
re: let's push this baby to the limit
"Also, journey's greatest hits live is the most awesome drunk album of all time. Regardless of what pam or blake griffin say."
COUNTERPOINT:
date: 01.04.2009
from: CR
to: DM
re: i think i've hit the limit
"Oh god make the Journey stop."
date: 03. 29.2009
from: BH
to: DM
re: let's push this baby to the limit
"Also, journey's greatest hits live is the most awesome drunk album of all time. Regardless of what pam or blake griffin say."
COUNTERPOINT:
date: 01.04.2009
from: CR
to: DM
re: i think i've hit the limit
"Oh god make the Journey stop."
Sunday, March 29, 2009
somehow, that's not a cross street i am familiar with
date: 03.28.2009
from: SAS
to: DM
re: where are you?
"I'm at 72nd and drinking."
from: SAS
to: DM
re: where are you?
"I'm at 72nd and drinking."
The harsh light of day reveals many things...
date: 03.29.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: ewwww
"Just opened wallet for first time today. Things are sticky and in wrong places."
from: AM
to: DM
re: ewwww
"Just opened wallet for first time today. Things are sticky and in wrong places."
Saturday, March 14, 2009
baby steps
date: 02.15.2009
from: GMG
to: DM
re: matty y keeps trying to drink all my high-end liquor
"We only had half the ri^1 this time. It's an improvement."
from: GMG
to: DM
re: matty y keeps trying to drink all my high-end liquor
"We only had half the ri^1 this time. It's an improvement."
trying to get places too quickly leads to heart ache and bad grammer
date: 03.06.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: i might have, sort of gotten confused leaving drunken nacho fridays
"Just ran a blobk (sic) in the whong damned direction . @ dann u!"
from: AM
to: DM
re: i might have, sort of gotten confused leaving drunken nacho fridays
"Just ran a blobk (sic) in the whong damned direction . @ dann u!"
thank you Katie 80, for doing us all a favor
date: 03.07.2009
from: KM
to: DM
re: turning chris reid into an unrepentant booze hound
"It really is the gift that keeps on giving, isn't it?"
from: KM
to: DM
re: turning chris reid into an unrepentant booze hound
"It really is the gift that keeps on giving, isn't it?"
whatever, it can't live up to the power of the shamwow
date: 03.08.2009
from: BDi
to: DM
re: being out drinking on thursdays is totally lame
"Aw. I'm at home, under my snuggie! u so wish u had one."
from: BDi
to: DM
re: being out drinking on thursdays is totally lame
"Aw. I'm at home, under my snuggie! u so wish u had one."
the troops have run into unexpected resistance
date: 03.11.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: wednesday's drinking plans have been shocked and awed
"Wow -- dollar beer night is a shitshow. we r retreating to the alternate watering hole."
from: AM
to: DM
re: wednesday's drinking plans have been shocked and awed
"Wow -- dollar beer night is a shitshow. we r retreating to the alternate watering hole."
that, kids, is what we call "statuatory"
date: 03.14.2009
from: AL
to: DM
re: not even the 'half plus seven' rule will save me on this one
"Accidentally hit on a girl who's 15. Whoops."
from: AL
to: DM
re: not even the 'half plus seven' rule will save me on this one
"Accidentally hit on a girl who's 15. Whoops."
turns out you need a certification for that
date: 02.22.2009
from: CHu
to: DM
re: saturday day drinking + road trip = win
"Princeton rulz. Lets go to nj every weekend. Just looked at the photos. I think shannon and i are certifiable lesbians now."
from: CHu
to: DM
re: saturday day drinking + road trip = win
"Princeton rulz. Lets go to nj every weekend. Just looked at the photos. I think shannon and i are certifiable lesbians now."
...and that's why we are going to South Africa in 2010
date: 03.04.2009
from: GMG
to: DM
re: i'm pretty sure Ireland would be a more fun place to visit
"Agreed, but FIFA is more powerful than the UN, so we must follow their mandates!"
from: GMG
to: DM
re: i'm pretty sure Ireland would be a more fun place to visit
"Agreed, but FIFA is more powerful than the UN, so we must follow their mandates!"
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
the least kosher food ever is totally delicious
date: 02.22.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: Yahweh has been holding out on us
"eating bacon wrapped crispy shrimp rolls -- OH MY GOD"
from: AM
to: DM
re: Yahweh has been holding out on us
"eating bacon wrapped crispy shrimp rolls -- OH MY GOD"
innovative trade deadline moves
date: 02.26.2009
from: BH
to: DM
re: a possible sabres move at the nhl deadline
"Alternatively, I've never cared for (Patrick) Kaleta, so if they could more him for a box of pucks and a couple bottles of ri^1, I'd call it a win."
from: BH
to: DM
re: a possible sabres move at the nhl deadline
"Alternatively, I've never cared for (Patrick) Kaleta, so if they could more him for a box of pucks and a couple bottles of ri^1, I'd call it a win."
Saturday, February 14, 2009
it's the new sliced bread, apparently
date: 02.12.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: that shit is addictive
"Just drunkenly entered a pizza joint and asked for bacon pizza... they have none... it's a dark time for humanity..."
from: AM
to: DM
re: that shit is addictive
"Just drunkenly entered a pizza joint and asked for bacon pizza... they have none... it's a dark time for humanity..."
i'm thinking "(e) all of the above"
date: 02.08.2009
from: BH
to: DM
re: this is the greatest music for eating bacon pizza, bar none
"BTW, people that hate Journey's Greatest Hits Live -- communists, terrorists, Habs fans, or Scott Boras?"
from: BH
to: DM
re: this is the greatest music for eating bacon pizza, bar none
"BTW, people that hate Journey's Greatest Hits Live -- communists, terrorists, Habs fans, or Scott Boras?"
i can't say i'm surprised
date: 02.14.2009
from: LMc
to: DM
re: day drinking is hard work
"I think we broke Matty Y."
from: LMc
to: DM
re: day drinking is hard work
"I think we broke Matty Y."
parents and pop culture don't mix
date: 12.26.2008
from: KM
to: DM
re: this is why i try not to watch TV with my family
"My mother just referred to The Biggest Loser as 'I'm A Big Fat Loser'."
from: KM
to: DM
re: this is why i try not to watch TV with my family
"My mother just referred to The Biggest Loser as 'I'm A Big Fat Loser'."
family holidays in a nut shell
date: 12.25.2008
from: KM
to: DM
re: christmas
@10:38pm
"4 hours between cocktail hour and dinner. The McKeons are all very drunk. Myself included. Thank god for predictive text."
@10:54pm
"Marianne will probably vomit. Just sent you a self portrait. I am ridiculous."
from: KM
to: DM
re: christmas
@10:38pm
"4 hours between cocktail hour and dinner. The McKeons are all very drunk. Myself included. Thank god for predictive text."
@10:54pm
"Marianne will probably vomit. Just sent you a self portrait. I am ridiculous."
well it's at least a contributing factor
date: 02/14/2009
from: CHu
to: DM
re: UCLA is down by twenty at the half
"THIS FUCKING SUCKS!! This is what drives me to drink like an idiot."
from: CHu
to: DM
re: UCLA is down by twenty at the half
"THIS FUCKING SUCKS!! This is what drives me to drink like an idiot."
Friday, February 6, 2009
trust me, i 100% am proud
date: 01.30.2009
from: BH
to: DM
re: now what the hell am i gonna do with?
"I just stole a cone for no other reason than mild buzzedness. You should be proud."
from: BH
to: DM
re: now what the hell am i gonna do with?
"I just stole a cone for no other reason than mild buzzedness. You should be proud."
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
this is touching... ish
date: 01.30.2009
from: NS
to: DM
re: that's the deal. the total deal.
"I'm hammered and (it) makes me think of you! Miss you, hope you're good!"
yes, but did he have small hands and smell like cabbage?
date: 02.01.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: nights at doc holiday's are never really "normal"
"It just occurred to me that i totes tugged that carney's mustache last night."
i totally thought she was making this up until that last line
date: 02.03.2009
from: Sas
to: DM
re: do you know that live late-night cable access exists? and that it's crazy?
@12.29am
"I just called into the mnn network during a tv show featuring the invisible man and shitty the clown. Not making this up."
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
i hope he took most of that straight to the computing power graveyard
date: 12.28.2008
from: BH
to: DM
re: that's the last time i agree to help my mom move
"Today I moved one new laptop, three pentium 2 era computers, the oldest thinkpad I have ever seen, two printers, a fax machine, and a standalone word processor"
from: BH
to: DM
re: that's the last time i agree to help my mom move
"Today I moved one new laptop, three pentium 2 era computers, the oldest thinkpad I have ever seen, two printers, a fax machine, and a standalone word processor"
the greatest informercial item ever, totes for real
date: 01.25.2009
from: ET
to: DM
re: guess what's on MY mind right now
@ 1:27am
"shaaaaaaaaaammmmmm"
@ 1:28am
"wwwooooooooooowwwwwwwWWWWWW!!!!!!"
from: ET
to: DM
re: guess what's on MY mind right now
@ 1:27am
"shaaaaaaaaaammmmmm"
@ 1:28am
"wwwooooooooooowwwwwwwWWWWWW!!!!!!"
the way families actually spend the holidays
date: 12.26.2008
from: JA
to: DM
re: i mean, i miss the city and all, but this is kind of awesome
"Pizza Putt. Pizza, laser tag, and mini golf, all in one. How suburbucolic."
from: JA
to: DM
re: i mean, i miss the city and all, but this is kind of awesome
"Pizza Putt. Pizza, laser tag, and mini golf, all in one. How suburbucolic."
when airport-bound cab rides turn ugly
date: 12.05.2008
from: CHu
to: DM
re: last night's going away party just came flooding back
@ 11:48am
"Omg dougie, i am having bad memories of all those shots. And by memories i mean i am about to throw up out the cab window"
@ 11:56am
"God damn i think i am wah wah wasted"
from: CHu
to: DM
re: last night's going away party just came flooding back
@ 11:48am
"Omg dougie, i am having bad memories of all those shots. And by memories i mean i am about to throw up out the cab window"
@ 11:56am
"God damn i think i am wah wah wasted"
breakfast of champions
date: 01.03.2009
from: LMc
to: DM
re: i bet it's not as awesome as mine...
"I started this morning with a G & T, and THEN Brian and I went to Stop'n'Shop to buy bacon! How's your day going?"
from: LMc
to: DM
re: i bet it's not as awesome as mine...
"I started this morning with a G & T, and THEN Brian and I went to Stop'n'Shop to buy bacon! How's your day going?"
rumor is, it tastes like freedom
date: 01.26.2009
from: KM
to: DM
re: three great tastes that taste great when boozing
"Call the Grillmaster -- I am drinking bacon-infused bourbon with real maple syrup"
from: KM
to: DM
re: three great tastes that taste great when boozing
"Call the Grillmaster -- I am drinking bacon-infused bourbon with real maple syrup"
Sunday, January 25, 2009
full-service, indeed
date: 01.24.2009
from: LP
to: DM
re: today's spa treatment got a little feisty
"Just got a massage -- fairly certain the chick intentionally felt me up. Would have been less weirded out had she not commented on how nice my breasts are! Nuts!"
from: LP
to: DM
re: today's spa treatment got a little feisty
"Just got a massage -- fairly certain the chick intentionally felt me up. Would have been less weirded out had she not commented on how nice my breasts are! Nuts!"
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
new frontiers in alcoholic beverage sales and distribution
date: 01.10.2009
from: Sister
to: DM
re: we did a little shopping
"Magic Hat growler six pack -- best six pack ever!"
from: Sister
to: DM
re: we did a little shopping
"Magic Hat growler six pack -- best six pack ever!"
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
why you try not to wander away from the bar late at night
date: 01.11.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: i left the bar ten minutes ago to find food...
@3:05 am
"i feelwincredibly (sic) stupid, but what's the name of the bar we're in?"
from: AM
to: DM
re: i left the bar ten minutes ago to find food...
@3:05 am
"i feelwincredibly (sic) stupid, but what's the name of the bar we're in?"
sunday drinking nicely warms the heart
date: 01.04.2009
from: EB
to: DM
re: i've had a few beers and am ready for the game
"Lather, rinse, repeat -- the shampoo effect is in... effect"
from: EB
to: DM
re: i've had a few beers and am ready for the game
"Lather, rinse, repeat -- the shampoo effect is in... effect"
potent potables and oral traditions
date: 01.11.2009
from: Tadhog
to: DM
re: last night's contribution to both our society and to our friend group
"I'm glad you are on the job of getting people drunk. It's important in preserving our way of life!"
from: Tadhog
to: DM
re: last night's contribution to both our society and to our friend group
"I'm glad you are on the job of getting people drunk. It's important in preserving our way of life!"
Monday, January 12, 2009
what happened to the writ of habeus corpus?
date: 01.11.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: criminal accessory charges
"Dear Hangover, You are DM's fault. Go torture him and leave me in peace. xoxo, Amanda"
from: AM
to: DM
re: criminal accessory charges
"Dear Hangover, You are DM's fault. Go torture him and leave me in peace. xoxo, Amanda"
how many years did he spend at awesome medical school?
date: 01.11.2009
from: PPF
to: DM
re: medical doctors and their qualifications
"I dispute Matt's title as 'Dr. Awesome.' He can't even answer the question of why we get drunk quicker on an empty stomach!"
from: PPF
to: DM
re: medical doctors and their qualifications
"I dispute Matt's title as 'Dr. Awesome.' He can't even answer the question of why we get drunk quicker on an empty stomach!"
this might actually define the line between "sports" and "games"
date: 01.11.2009
from: SAS
to: DM
re: golf could stand to learn a thing or two
"Reason #476 why bowling is awesome: it is a sport that does not only encourage but practically requires that you drink before, during and after play."
from: SAS
to: DM
re: golf could stand to learn a thing or two
"Reason #476 why bowling is awesome: it is a sport that does not only encourage but practically requires that you drink before, during and after play."
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