it's the new sliced bread, apparently

date: 02.12.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: that shit is addictive

"Just drunkenly entered a pizza joint and asked for bacon pizza... they have none... it's a dark time for humanity..."

i'm thinking "(e) all of the above"

date: 02.08.2009
from: BH
to: DM
re: this is the greatest music for eating bacon pizza, bar none

"BTW, people that hate Journey's Greatest Hits Live -- communists, terrorists, Habs fans, or Scott Boras?"

i can't say i'm surprised

date: 02.14.2009
from: LMc
to: DM
re: day drinking is hard work

"I think we broke Matty Y."

parents and pop culture don't mix

date: 12.26.2008
from: KM
to: DM
re: this is why i try not to watch TV with my family

"My mother just referred to The Biggest Loser as 'I'm A Big Fat Loser'."

family holidays in a nut shell

date: 12.25.2008
from: KM
to: DM
re: christmas

@10:38pm

"4 hours between cocktail hour and dinner. The McKeons are all very drunk. Myself included. Thank god for predictive text."

@10:54pm

"Marianne will probably vomit. Just sent you a self portrait. I am ridiculous."

well it's at least a contributing factor

date: 02/14/2009
from: CHu
to: DM
re: UCLA is down by twenty at the half

"THIS FUCKING SUCKS!! This is what drives me to drink like an idiot."

trust me, i 100% am proud

date: 01.30.2009
from: BH
to: DM
re: now what the hell am i gonna do with?


"I just stole a cone for no other reason than mild buzzedness. You should be proud."

this is touching... ish

date: 01.30.2009

from: NS

to: DM

re: that's the deal. the total deal.

"I'm hammered and (it) makes me think of you! Miss you, hope you're good!"

yes, but did he have small hands and smell like cabbage?

date: 02.01.2009

from: AM

to: DM

re: nights at doc holiday's are never really "normal"

"It just occurred to me that i totes tugged that carney's mustache last night."

i totally thought she was making this up until that last line

date: 02.03.2009

from: Sas

to: DM

re: do you know that live late-night cable access exists? and that it's crazy?

@12.29am

"I just called into the mnn network during a tv show featuring the invisible man and shitty the clown. Not making this up."

i hope he took most of that straight to the computing power graveyard

date: 12.28.2008
from: BH
to: DM
re: that's the last time i agree to help my mom move

"Today I moved one new laptop, three pentium 2 era computers, the oldest thinkpad I have ever seen, two printers, a fax machine, and a standalone word processor"

the greatest informercial item ever, totes for real

date: 01.25.2009
from: ET
to: DM
re: guess what's on MY mind right now

@ 1:27am

"shaaaaaaaaaammmmmm"

@ 1:28am

"wwwooooooooooowwwwwwwWWWWWW!!!!!!"

the way families actually spend the holidays

date: 12.26.2008
from: JA
to: DM
re: i mean, i miss the city and all, but this is kind of awesome

"Pizza Putt. Pizza, laser tag, and mini golf, all in one. How suburbucolic."

when airport-bound cab rides turn ugly

date: 12.05.2008
from: CHu
to: DM
re: last night's going away party just came flooding back

@ 11:48am

"Omg dougie, i am having bad memories of all those shots. And by memories i mean i am about to throw up out the cab window"

@ 11:56am

"God damn i think i am wah wah wasted"

breakfast of champions

date: 01.03.2009
from: LMc
to: DM
re: i bet it's not as awesome as mine...

"I started this morning with a G & T, and THEN Brian and I went to Stop'n'Shop to buy bacon! How's your day going?"

rumor is, it tastes like freedom

date: 01.26.2009
from: KM
to: DM
re: three great tastes that taste great when boozing

"Call the Grillmaster -- I am drinking bacon-infused bourbon with real maple syrup"

full-service, indeed

date: 01.24.2009
from: LP
to: DM
re: today's spa treatment got a little feisty

"Just got a massage -- fairly certain the chick intentionally felt me up. Would have been less weirded out had she not commented on how nice my breasts are! Nuts!"

new frontiers in alcoholic beverage sales and distribution

date: 01.10.2009
from: Sister
to: DM
re: we did a little shopping

"Magic Hat growler six pack -- best six pack ever!"

why you try not to wander away from the bar late at night

date: 01.11.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: i left the bar ten minutes ago to find food...

@3:05 am

"i feelwincredibly (sic) stupid, but what's the name of the bar we're in?"

sunday drinking nicely warms the heart

date: 01.04.2009
from: EB
to: DM
re: i've had a few beers and am ready for the game

"Lather, rinse, repeat -- the shampoo effect is in... effect"

potent potables and oral traditions

date: 01.11.2009
from: Tadhog
to: DM
re: last night's contribution to both our society and to our friend group

"I'm glad you are on the job of getting people drunk. It's important in preserving our way of life!"

what happened to the writ of habeus corpus?

date: 01.11.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: criminal accessory charges

"Dear Hangover, You are DM's fault. Go torture him and leave me in peace. xoxo, Amanda"

how many years did he spend at awesome medical school?

date: 01.11.2009
from: PPF
to: DM
re: medical doctors and their qualifications

"I dispute Matt's title as 'Dr. Awesome.' He can't even answer the question of why we get drunk quicker on an empty stomach!"

this might actually define the line between "sports" and "games"

date: 01.11.2009
from: SAS
to: DM
re: golf could stand to learn a thing or two

"Reason #476 why bowling is awesome: it is a sport that does not only encourage but practically requires that you drink before, during and after play."

well at least he's humble about it

date: 12.23.2008

from: JC

to: DM

re: i won the fantasy football league, chumps

"I am the champion, I am the champion, no time for losers because I am the champion... of the fumble fest!"