what modern cell phone technology was created for

date: 03.14.2009
from: ET
to: DM (and others)
re: the things needed to make a marriage work


@9:33pm

“All – I want kfc and need your help. Please text my wife pleading for me to have kfc."

(note: It worked. KFC was purchased within 15 minutes.)

awesome on many levels

date: 04.03.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: the Fordham Barrister’s Ball celebrations


"R u gonna pussy out on the afterparty like christina (sic) reid, or r u gonna have some balls?”

a succinct walk-through of my night

date: 04.04.2009
from: SM
to: DM
re: it is being broughten tonight

(note: all times CT)


@10:39pm

"I now own a shot glass necklace."


@11:29pm

"I just called 'amateur hour' on some guy that tried to set up Beirut with only six cups."


@2:31am

"I won flip cup."


@3:07am

"I am awseum (sic) at flip cup."

what music says about you

date: 04.11.2009

re: tastes

(1 of 3 – the query)

from: CR

to: DM and AM

“Am I gay for liking the Scissor Sisters?”

(2 of 3 – the response)

from: DM

to: CR

“Naaaa. The Scissor Sisters are pretty legit. I wouldn’t worry about it.

(3 of 3 – the alternate view)

from: AM

to: CR

“Liking Scissor Sisters is totally gay. Enjoy the parade.”

didn't see that answer coming

date: 05.02.2009

from: CM

to: DM

re: where you guys at?

"At burlesque show. Adam attacked by ninja. He survived."

bold claims

date: 05.03.2009

from: BH/DM

to: DM/BH

re: exciting late night challenges

@ 1:25 am DM to BH

"I just challenged Frank to the Seafair 5K in Seattle. We should buy tix."

@ 1:27 AM BH to DM

"Perfect. Also, I look forward to beating you at drunken Dr Mario in the near future."

@1:30 am DM to BH

"That's funny. I'm interested to see you beat me up Mount Rainier with Frank strapped to your back."

@ 1:33 am BH to DM

"I'll do it, and I'll drink two liters of knob creek along the way.

two ways of looking at things

POINT:

date: 03. 29.2009
from: BH
to: DM
re: let's push this baby to the limit

"Also, journey's greatest hits live is the most awesome drunk album of all time. Regardless of what pam or blake griffin say."

COUNTERPOINT:

date: 01.04.2009
from: CR
to: DM
re: i think i've hit the limit

"Oh god make the Journey stop."

somehow, that's not a cross street i am familiar with

date: 03.28.2009
from: SAS
to: DM
re: where are you?

"I'm at 72nd and drinking."

The harsh light of day reveals many things...

date: 03.29.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: ewwww

"Just opened wallet for first time today. Things are sticky and in wrong places."

apropos of nothing

date: 02.14.2009
from: MY
to: DM
re: god only knows

"Toss my salad"

baby steps

date: 02.15.2009
from: GMG
to: DM
re: matty y keeps trying to drink all my high-end liquor

"We only had half the ri^1 this time. It's an improvement."

trying to get places too quickly leads to heart ache and bad grammer

date: 03.06.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: i might have, sort of gotten confused leaving drunken nacho fridays

"Just ran a blobk (sic) in the whong damned direction . @ dann u!"

thank you Katie 80, for doing us all a favor

date: 03.07.2009
from: KM
to: DM
re: turning chris reid into an unrepentant booze hound

"It really is the gift that keeps on giving, isn't it?"

whatever, it can't live up to the power of the shamwow

date: 03.08.2009
from: BDi
to: DM
re: being out drinking on thursdays is totally lame

"Aw. I'm at home, under my snuggie! u so wish u had one."

the troops have run into unexpected resistance

date: 03.11.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: wednesday's drinking plans have been shocked and awed

"Wow -- dollar beer night is a shitshow. we r retreating to the alternate watering hole."

that, kids, is what we call "statuatory"

date: 03.14.2009
from: AL
to: DM
re: not even the 'half plus seven' rule will save me on this one

"Accidentally hit on a girl who's 15. Whoops."

turns out you need a certification for that

date: 02.22.2009
from: CHu
to: DM
re: saturday day drinking + road trip = win

"Princeton rulz. Lets go to nj every weekend. Just looked at the photos. I think shannon and i are certifiable lesbians now."

...and that's why we are going to South Africa in 2010

date: 03.04.2009
from: GMG
to: DM
re: i'm pretty sure Ireland would be a more fun place to visit

"Agreed, but FIFA is more powerful than the UN, so we must follow their mandates!"

the least kosher food ever is totally delicious

date: 02.22.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: Yahweh has been holding out on us

"eating bacon wrapped crispy shrimp rolls -- OH MY GOD"

innovative trade deadline moves

date: 02.26.2009
from: BH
to: DM

re: a possible sabres move at the nhl deadline

"Alternatively, I've never cared for (Patrick) Kaleta, so if they could more him for a box of pucks and a couple bottles of ri^1, I'd call it a win."

it's the new sliced bread, apparently

date: 02.12.2009
from: AM
to: DM
re: that shit is addictive

"Just drunkenly entered a pizza joint and asked for bacon pizza... they have none... it's a dark time for humanity..."

i'm thinking "(e) all of the above"

date: 02.08.2009
from: BH
to: DM
re: this is the greatest music for eating bacon pizza, bar none

"BTW, people that hate Journey's Greatest Hits Live -- communists, terrorists, Habs fans, or Scott Boras?"

i can't say i'm surprised

date: 02.14.2009
from: LMc
to: DM
re: day drinking is hard work

"I think we broke Matty Y."

parents and pop culture don't mix

date: 12.26.2008
from: KM
to: DM
re: this is why i try not to watch TV with my family

"My mother just referred to The Biggest Loser as 'I'm A Big Fat Loser'."

family holidays in a nut shell

date: 12.25.2008
from: KM
to: DM
re: christmas

@10:38pm

"4 hours between cocktail hour and dinner. The McKeons are all very drunk. Myself included. Thank god for predictive text."

@10:54pm

"Marianne will probably vomit. Just sent you a self portrait. I am ridiculous."