kitchen games are fun, but remember to check on your roommate's plans

date: 07.28.2008
from: LP
to: DM
re: didn't see that one coming

"I'm fairly certain i just walked in on my roommate having sex. I'm just thankful it wasn't doggie style..."

hide the children

date: 07.25.2008
from: NM
to: DM
re: dicey fashion decisions by quasi-family members

"look what i found"

just another day in the life of an insurance salesman

date: 07.25.2008
from: EB
to: DM
re: i'm not gonna make it to the bar

@10:44pm

"I'm gonna have to call douche on myself for getting hammered at lunch and being hung over right now..."

things not to tell your boys

date: 07.26.2008
from: JMC
to: DM, ML, and others
re: yeah, i just ghosted from the bar

"My fucking tits are killing me. It is clear to me that I don't drink or eat fatty foods till they're gone."

the only possible response to the above post

date: 07.26.2008
from: ML
to: JMC
re: heh heh heh

"You will now respond to a new code name: bitchtits. See you tomorrow."

trust him people, he's a corporate lawyer

date: 07.26.2008
from: MR
to: DM
re: that was NOT on the agenda

"Someone explain how and why i was just at a strip club in the south bronx"

trust him folks, he's a doctor

date: 07.26.2008
from: MY, md
to: DM
re: i've been in new york for like, twenty minutes

"A bird just shit on me"

well that's one way to accelerate the evening

date: 07.27.2008
from: SC
to: DM
re: i'm hanging out with your sister, and we're taking it to 11

@7:34 pm

"Goldschlager has entered the bldg."

i guess that means it was a good night...

date: 07.27.2008
from: EB
to: DM
re: wow, we got kind of drunk, didn't we?

"You actually make it home last night?"

surprising revelations...

date: 06.22.2008
from: KM
to: DM
re: is one of our friends moonlighting?

"a stripper just asked clare if she knew her from work, specifically 'the bikini bar on 41st'"

a really tough sell

date: 07.15.2008
from: BH
to: DM
re: possible travel plans with Frank

"I'll come down too... if there's bourbon drinking..."

reveling in the iPhone

date: 07.18.2008
from: JA
to: DM
re: o.m.g. that line was SO worth it

@10:16 p.m.

"My mom just gave back my phone. It now has a program that makes it make noise like a light saber when you move it. Jealous?"

@ 11:50 p.m.

"Just checking the box scores and player stats for every yank on my phone. Ho hum."

Anticipating the iPhone

date: 07.18.2008
from: JA
to: DM
re: i need this new iPhone so badly i can taste it

"My god -- this line sucks. I'd take a picture but my p.o.s. phone cam is broke..."

just another kickball thursday

date: 05.16.2008
from: CHu
to: DM
re: the end of the end of the evening went south

"I should have just left with you and not tried ti (sic) go outmore drunk too drunk in a cab by myself now."

ivy league reunion(s) weekend

date: 05.31.2008
from: JA
to: DM
re: we're playing daytime cups outside at the 'Gate, what are you up to?

"Sudden downpour while joc and i are buying booze so we're drinking in the room while the baby plays with a used beer cup? Ok."

hazards of dating

date: 06.03.2008
from: Duck
to: DM
re: the stripper i took home from a bar last night

"Chick broke my lamp pole on a homework assignment"

coherence not required (all entries sic)

date: 06.05.2008
from: JMC
to: DM
re: reports from bachelor party round two (in jacksonville)

@11:16pm

"Damn it. .... Doug... Get down here"

@12:52am

"I am going to oresunslly best them"

@1:03am

"I never duck shut up. ...."

the belmont stakes

date: 06.07.2008
from: JM
to: DM
re: it's sunny, there are horsies to bet on, let's get drunk

[in three parts]

@12:30pm
re: how's life at the track?


@12:57pm
re: it's pretty hot in florida

"YOU have NO IDEA what 'hot' is. We are dripping."


@ 2:55pm
re: how's the day going? won any big money yet?

"Good. Drunk. Just ate the world's best foot-long hotdog. Now I will throw up. That is all."

what's important in a bar

date: 06.13.2008
from: NM
to: DM
re: is nothing sacred anymore?

"Fav bar traded buck hunter for golden tee. I quit."

holiday treats

date: 12.22.2007
from: NM
to: DM
re: why all pastries should be made with liberal helpings of alcohol

"Quote Mitch when he tried mom's bourbon balls 'this is everything I ever wanted in a cookie'."

the thrill of the hunt

date: 05.13.2008
to: DM
from: BH
re: our favorite saffron infused gin; perfect for british landholders in India

"I just bought some Old Raj. Go prepare my elephant."

wedding disaster (for the guests)

date: 12.28.2007
from: JA
to: DM
re: why did i fly cross country for this friggin wedding, again?

"no one has a car, so we're all trapped like rats at a golf course compound. Cali sucks."

i don't think he was kidding

date: 04.01.2008
from: BS
to:DM
re: need to chat about plans for this weekend

"You gonna be around later tonight? I'm kinda drunk right now and need a little time yo (sic) sober up b4 I can talk in sentences."

the most exciting tuesday night ever

date: 04.08.2008
from: CH
to: DM
re: what's up for tonight?

"I am the very exclusive, very chic, and incredibly hip... laundromat. Boo for responsibility."

man vs. rodent

date: 04.28.2008
from: JA
to: DM
re: new tactics might be needed

"The mice are eating the mouse-proof basket itself! I repeat, the mice are eating the mouse-proof basket itself."